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Article 7: Lessons I Learnt From a New Friend in 97 Minutes

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

Article by Xin Yi and Joleen

Storyblog by Euclea Tan, Verlyn Ku, Natalie Lim and Andrew Sutjipto


You are a secret agent on a mission: get to a faraway hideout to retrieve top-secret information. (To stop World War III from happening. Or perhaps to reveal the truth about Area 51. Who knows?) But all the information that is meant to lead you to your destination appears to be in gibberish that, for the life of you, you cannot figure out. You could attempt to call your handler, but you do not want to risk his wrath for failing your mission again. Who do you turn to? What can you do? As endless questions run through your mind, you cannot help but feel more lost and frustrated with every passing day.

That sums up the experience of someone unfamiliar with disruptive technologies (albeit a tad over-dramatically). The inability to understand an abundance of information despite having it at the tips of one’s fingers, coupled with the hesitance to reach out for help in fear of being “annoying” or “a hindrance”, can result in exasperation and bitterness towards technology and even oneself. Yet technology has become essential in our everyday lives: Google Maps and ride-hailing apps to travel around, Foodpanda to buy our meals, and social media to communicate with our family and friends. Individual autonomy has become heavily dependent on our ability to navigate the world using the technology at hand, whether we like it or not.

Conversing with my befriendee deepened my understanding of the dire consequences of being excluded from technological advancements. She shared that the influx of drivers switching over from traditional taxis to ride-hailing services has made it more difficult to hail a taxi when she needs to.

Photo Credit: GoodyFeed

She could get her son to hire a Grabcar for her, but she does not want him to pay for her ride since she can and wants to do so herself. It is a tough decision that reflects how deeply independence, which is important for self-value and self-esteem, has become intertwined with technology.



Language barriers can also contribute to exclusion from technology. For example, some mobile applications, such as Grab and SG BusLeh, do not offer non-English options. This makes it difficult for non-English speakers to navigate the applications accurately, especially when keying in and identifying specific locations.

Credit: Education Equity 2030

Of course, there are still the usual methods of getting around: taking the public bus and referring to bus routes on signboards at the bus stop. But if the rest of us have benefitted so greatly from technology, it seems unfair that there are some who remain excluded from it. As much as technology can be enabling, it can also be disabling in the ways it excludes those who cannot keep up with it or access it.


Despite these challenges, my befriendee remained optimistic about being able to harness technology to enhance her life. I was immediately struck by her eagerness to learn. Not only was she taking online lessons on her own, but she was also excited to go through the extra readings that her instructor had sent. Unfortunately, her smartphone did not have any software that could access the readings. When I suggested using Google Docs, she immediately exclaimed, “OK! Come, teach me how to use it!” And as we went through the basic steps of downloading and using the application,


I noticed the little things that made her excitement so contagious, even through the screen — the way she shared with me what she wanted to learn about, her stream of questions about what the application could do, and even her little exclamations whenever we completed each step. At the end of it, we were both elated that she could finally access the readings. Her eagerness was underlined by humility, open-mindedness, and optimism, all of which motivated her to ask questions about the ever-changing world of technology. And perhaps it is something that everyone, especially us students, must embrace as we face different people, challenges, and environments in the future.


On a more personal note, my befriendee also mentioned, as a passing comment, that her children were impatient in teaching her how to use these applications. It pulled at my heartstrings, and I could not help but wonder if I could have been a little more patient with my own parents or spared more thought for their feelings. It is easy to feel peeved with our parents or grandparents whenever they ask us about something that we find intuitive to use. Impatience, however, can be all the more heartbreaking when it is channelled towards them. Cliched as it may sound, the positions of “teacher-student” were once swapped when we were young and ignorant, asking questions about everything and anything around us (Mum, what’s that animal? Oh, and Dad, where did I come from?). And exasperated sighs or words like “it’s easy, just click this!” can undermine the validity of their troubles. While I am hopeful that most of us are more than happy to teach our parents about technology (or anything, for that matter), it is always helpful to keep in mind that patience and empathy are virtues we should uphold in our relationships with the people around us.


“Have you eaten yet?”

The best part of the interaction was the warmth that my befriendee exuded throughout the call. I am not going to lie — I had Googled: “How to say ‘click the link’ in Chinese” the night before our Zoom call. (I learnt that it’s 点击链接 diǎnjī liànjiē, by the way.) I am the kind of person who has to point at dishes and repeat the words “那个” (that one) when ordering food at a Mixed Vegetable Rice stall, so having to use Mandarin to teach someone how to use technology was considerably daunting. Yet my xenoglossophobia (the fear of using a second language — I had Googled that, too) flew out the window when my befriendee started the Zoom call with a broad smile and an exclamation of, “Wow! You are so pretty!”

(Perhaps I need a better webcam.) I immediately thought of my grandmother, who was just as warm, friendly, and all other wonderful grandmotherly things, as she was, and so I asked her what I always ask my grandmother upon seeing her, “Have you eaten yet?” It is one of those Singaporean greetings that instinctively help us warm up to each other, and from then on, our conversation flowed more smoothly than I had anticipated. It was the mutual trust and openness that helped us bond despite the lack of face-to-face interaction, and I could not be more grateful for it. And her absence of judgement with respect to my floundering Mandarin has encouraged me to continue improving my grasp of the language for future sessions, with the help of peers who are stronger in it (and Google Translate). Although technology can divide, it can also bring people together, as it had for us.


It was a pity that we could not meet face-to-face for the session, not because it would have been easier to show her how to use the applications, but because I can only imagine how her exuberance would shine through even more in real life. However — as she has taught me — an optimistic approach to any situation can yield valuable insights and lessons. And perhaps this is something that we can all carry with us.


This article is not so much meant to make you internalise the lessons I have gleaned, but to encourage you to realise that lessons can be learnt from such interactions. To those who had feared to participate in these befriending sessions: it is completely alright to be apprehensive about unfamiliar situations, especially ones in which such a large generation gap is inevitable. But trust me, once you get over the initial awkwardness, the experience will have so much to offer for both parties. Cliche as it may sound, these opportunities to give back to the community are not just about you sharing your money, time, or knowledge, but also about receiving memories, insights, and a platform to grow. Just as I have learnt about the bane and boon of technology, perhaps you will also gain valuable insights too.


And to those whom I jumped into this project alongside with, I hope that your experience has also been eye-opening and enjoyable. I hope that the lessons we have yielded will encourage us to continue approaching our daily interactions with an open mind and heart, as well as to consistently reflect on them. Maybe, one day, we will all be empowered, fearless secret agents who can use the tools at hand to save the world. (Maybe to prevent a zombie apocalypse. Or avoid nuclear warfare. Again, who knows?)

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