Article by Cheng Min Jing & Odelia Ong
Storyblog by Euclea Tan, Verlyn Ku, Natalie Lim and Andrew Sutjipto
Beyond the dances, the activity booklets, or even these articles, there is an integral part of Groundwork that only few participate in. Today, we caught up with Sarah and Raiza over cups of metaphorical coffee (it’s Phase 2, but we’re not taking the risk) to find out what they have been up to in this elusive task: Befriending. As Batch Project is partnering with Filos this year, the Befrienders are also working closely with the organisation to help their buddies to the best of their abilities.
Sarah and Raiza have been busy these past weeks contacting their buddies and teaching them how to better access, adopt, and apply technology. Every week, these volunteers talk to their new friend for up to an hour (sometimes more!) and catch up with them, instead of, you know, watching another episode on Netflix. We were curious – only around 20 students are involved in this endeavour, so what made them walk this road? We asked them, and here’s what they think.
Why did you join Batch Project and chose to befriend the elderly?
Sarah: I feel that Batch Project, specifically GroundWork (Befriending), is really meaningful, especially since visiting was not allowed during the circuit breaker period. A part of the initiative was to teach the elderly how to use smartphones and applications like WhatsApp, and I thought that was really important, especially as Singapore progresses to become a smart nation! However, this leaves a largely illiterate population of the elderly behind so I felt that as a befriender, I could try and plug that gap. It’s especially important since technology became the main method of responding to the pandemic (like SafeEntry, Trace Together for contact tracing). It’s hard not having a smartphone or not being able to use one.
Raiza: I was in the Interact Club in Junior College and we had weekly visits to an old folks home. I really enjoyed my time helping them out and because of my past experience, Batch Project seemed familiar and right up my alley. Beyond that, I also wanted to challenge myself because there was this added barrier of only being able to befriend the elderly through phone calls.
What were some of your expectations before becoming a Befriender?
Sarah: I expected it to be a little awkward! I’m not great at Mandarin or Hokkien, so I knew I was going to fumble quite a bit. I was also a little afraid of not being able to connect with my buddy because of the generation gap. Raiza: I genuinely expected to struggle a lot because of the language barrier because that was something I faced when volunteering with the elderly in the past. I was also worried that my buddy would not be that interested in learning about using a smartphone.
How have your expectations worked out so far?
Sarah: The experience so far has actually been really good! All the advice Filos gave us really helped quite a bit. It has been a little bumpy, particularly with both of us getting confused over what’s going on since I can’t see what she’s doing or understand all the technical terms in Mandarin. Still, my buddy is the sweetest and warmest person, and we never run out of topics to talk about! From our favourite foods to our experiences in the neighbourhood, we just get lost in our conversations! Raiza: The experience so far has been really good for me too! I actually look forward to it. I realised my worries were unfounded because my buddy was very fluent in English and she was very interested in learning about using smartphones too! I think the integration of technology into our lives has been pervasive to the point where even she understood the importance of learning about smartphones and so on.
So far, it seems that Sarah and Raiza have been enjoying themselves throughout the whole befriending process (yay)! However, now that all interaction has to be done through phone calls, we were curious as to how a typical conversation with the elderly would look like as well as Sarah and Raiza’s phone calling experience.
Bring us through a typical phone call!
Sarah: I call my buddy and greet her with a warm “good afternoon!” and tell her how happy I am to be chatting with her again. We ask about each others’ lunches (our calls take place in the afternoon) and make small talk from there. My buddy has a wonderful learning attitude, so she’ll initiate our smartphone class and ask me what we’re going to learn today. I try to guide her through the various controls on the phone – this has not been very successful (we’re sorry about this, Sarah) – and often leads to a lot of confusion on both ends. With my phone in one hand, I fumble with my laptop and attempt to find the Mandarin translations for the terms with my Number One Baby: Google Translate. More often than not, I have no clue what she’s seeing on her screen, and we spend a lot of time trying to figure out which page she’s on. It’s a little stressful, and sometimes she gets a little paiseh for not being able to understand me, but we laugh it off together with jokes! I like to tell her this whole thing feels like we’re doing a puzzle. Honestly, the hour passes by really quickly. It feels like I’m chatting with an old friend with how much we laugh and enjoy each others’ company!
Raiza: The call starts with me greeting her with a “Hello!” and I always mention my name in case she doesn’t recognise me. As time went by, she started to recognise my voice. I usually ask her how her week has been and just talk to her before we get into the lesson. This allows me to learn more about her and connect with her better. It also lets her know that I’m not here merely because I have a lesson to teach but rather, that I’m here to listen and talk to her.
What was the highlight of your experience?
Sarah: The highlight was when she gave me life advice. She has experienced a lot in life and it’s nice hearing all the life lessons she has to offer. I love these moments because it turns it into a call between friends, without the “volunteer” and “beneficiary” dynamic. We’re just two girls having a chat over the phone. Raiza: Personally, the highlight of my experience was when we were sharing about our lives with each other. I really enjoyed listening to her recount her life stories and what her roots were as it allows me to get to know her better. We always laugh together and it makes me feel really warm. And at the end of every call, she will always thank me for my time and that small gesture never fails to make my week.
Tell us about a challenge you faced. How did you overcome it?
Sarah: Our greatest challenge was the language barrier. My buddy commented that she is able to read the Chinese characters on her phone, but as they are just unfamiliar jargon to her, it was difficult to direct her. It’s especially challenging since I can’t see what she’s doing! We’re still troubleshooting how to solve this, but at least we’re doing it together and taking baby steps!
Raiza: One challenge I faced was the fact that my buddy uses a phone brand that I am not familiar with. Moreover, no one around me has the type of phone that she uses so it becomes harder for me to imagine what she sees on her screen and direct her. To overcome it, Google became my best friend during my calls with her. As we talk on the phone, I’ll have my laptop at the side, ready to Google and multitask. Sometimes she’ll ask me questions prior to our call and that allows me to Google beforehand and prepare my lesson before I’m on the phone with her.
If there is one thing you would’ve done differently, what would it be?
Raiza: If I could, I would have conducted these lessons face to face. Even my buddy herself mentioned that because she’s learning through a phone call, it’s a little harder to understand. These are unprecedented times and so we have to overcome and adapt. Still, I would really enjoy meeting my buddy and interacting with her in real life.
Sarah: Same as Raiza!
Don’t we all wish we were able to meet up physically? Despite this inconvenience, Sarah and Raiza have both done an excellent job in befriending and teaching their buddy! Before we end, let’s hear some closing thoughts from them.
Why should we join Groundwork as a befriender?
Raiza: If you have time on your hands (it’s just one hour a week!), enjoy interacting with others and wish to give back to the community, then being a befriender is really for you! Being a befriender doesn’t only mean that you interact with the elderly in our community; you also get to interact with your batchmates and discuss various courses of action throughout your journey. It’s a very rewarding experience that isn’t too challenging or time-consuming. In this project, a little truly goes a long way because it’s also about teamwork with your batchmates. Truly no regrets joining Groundwork :)
Sarah: Adding on to Raiza’s points, I think befriending is about connection and care. Through this experience, you’re exposed to some of the ways in which you can care for those in your community, and it opens your eyes to some of the problems that might (sometimes) otherwise be invisible. In this specific case, I got a better grasp of the issue of loneliness and isolation amongst the elderly, as well as the extent to which they are left behind by the move towards a “smart nation”. It’s one thing to read about it, and it’s another thing to listen to someone talk about their experiences. Befriending is also a step towards doing something about these problems in your own little way!
Groundwork also gives you a sense of community! Sometimes things get tough, but you know you can always fall back on your batchmates to solve problems together. I remember how my peers came together to help me when I was struggling with teaching my buddy – we pooled resources and ideas together, and it was nice being around like-minded people who had the same goals.
Is there anything you feel that society has done well in, or can improve on, to benefit the elderly?
Raiza: Hmmm, to be very honest, my buddy does not share much regarding what can be done better. In fact, she’s always praising Filos for their good work. However, I do feel that our generation should jump at opportunities to interact with the elderly because some of them are really precious and interacting with them would give us a very different perspective on life. Sarah: I think collective care for people like the elderly in our communities is something we should think about. Our traditional idea of caregivers is limited to family members only, which means that the elderly who live apart from their family members or those who don’t have family members to rely on likely do not have consistent support networks. We are used to social workers and volunteer organisations being responsible for plugging these care gaps, but as we know, their resources are limited. I do wonder if this care could also come in the form of community support networks within the neighbourhood by ordinary residents. Offering multiple avenues of care and expanding our care networks by caring for one another within a community would make fulfilling community needs more sustainable in the long run as opposed to a few individuals taking on that heavy load. This could be especially beneficial for the elderly who are already vulnerable, such as those who live in low-income households, or have a mental or physical disability. I feel that befriending was a small example of what this type of care could look like.
Raiza, with her passion for connecting with people and giving back to the community, has brought out the beauty of service and the true value of an hour’s time spent with a complete stranger-turned-friend. Sarah, eager to care and uplift, shows us how it takes just a small community to make a big difference even in an unfamiliar reality.
We’d like to leave you with some food for thought – some questions in Sarah’s musings:
What if we could spare a little bit of time to check in on our neighbours and make them feel seen? What if we could commit just a little bit of time to understand each others’ needs and do what is within our capacity to meet them?
Volunteers – not just Sarah and Raiza – have taken the road less travelled by. Doesn’t it awe you to think that together, we can make all the difference?
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